Communication is not only the words being spell out from us, and received from others ..... There are many factors which controls the conversation, as per the study output only 20% to 30% of speech makes the communication.
Then who is the major contributor for the communication skill???
Non verbal communication plays vital role in communication. Every conversation we are passing through thousands of non verbal signals in facial expressions, gestures, paralinguistic, body language and postures, appearance, the personal distance between the people, eye gaze, haptics, artifacts.
Let us understand each one in detail, post understanding evaluating self during the conversation will help to improve upon further.
Facial expression :
When we converse with others listening only the words and missed to listen the facial expression will only give the half story. When don't listen the facial expression you may suffer due to loss in eye contact, most of the facial expression we know are universal emotion like surprise, fear, anger, sad etc. Beyond which there are micro expressions like eye brows, eyes and mouth signals.
Eyebrows
Eyebrows tell a lot about what a person is feeling.
They can be...
raised and arched (surprise)
lowered and knit together (anger)
inner corners drawn up (sadness)
Watch someone's eyebrows to get a handle on how that person is feeling.
Eyes
The only thing more telling than the eyebrows are the eyes themselves.
They might be
wide open (surprise)
intensely staring (anger)
have crow's feet crinkles (happy)
In addition, dilated pupils can indicate fear or romantic interest while rapid blinking might signal dishonesty or stress.
Mouth
The final piece of the facial expression puzzle has to do with the mouth. Look for
a dropped jaw (surprise)
open mouth (fear)
one side of the mouth raised (hate)
corners raised (happiness)
corners drawn down (sadness)
Other signals to look for are
lip biting (anxiety)
pursed lips (distaste)
covering the mouth (hiding something)
These are just a few tips to get you thinking about the facial expressions you see during conversation and what they mean. If you find that you are having a hard time reading other people's emotions through their expressions, you might need more practice, or you might simply have trouble decoding what others are feeling
Gestures:
Gestures are usually vary based on the cultures. Hand waving, pointing , using hand while explaining or discussing are the basic gestures used during the conversation . It is always important to pay attention using gestures specially cross culture people.
Paralinguistic :
It is all about how the words are being expressed during the conversation, like volume, rate of words delivered, rhythm, tone, pitch, quality etc.
It is always better to understand the situation and controlling the paralinguistic factors mentioned above.
As per the research assertive speakers are who delivers loud speech, with lower pitch, varying tone, matching the intensity of tone with the converser.
Being aware of your own paralinguistic vocal strengths and weaknesses will allow you to subtly influence your speaking and listening so that you will be a more powerful communicator.
Body language and posture:
When you use a positive body language it can add positive strength to the verbal message you want to convey. Having open posture, sit upright not slouching, standing open by not keeping hands on hip, can communicate yourself as bigger and will be very useful during aggressive communication and dominating communication
Having a firm hand shake, good eye contact - not starring continuously, avoid touching faces while answering are some of the other parts of body language. Practicing in front mirror for any conversation will help you to understand your body language and you can improve upon for the positive result.
During interviews, negotiation following the mirroring - just following the other conversers body language, relaxing body and looking interested by touching your face or chin- it was mentioned touching face is wrong, but in case of expressing your interest situation it is accepted.
find the below postures considered as positive and negative body language
Negative body language includes:
Folded arms.
Tense facial expression.
Body turned away from you.
Poor eye contact.
Positive body language includes:
Open body position (arms unfolded).
Upright posture.
Relaxed and open facial expression.
Arms hanging relaxed by the sides.
Regular eye contact.
Picture for reference
Appearance :
Physical appearance is the one of most controlling factor for non verbal communication which includes, clothing, ornaments, hairstyle, cosmetics etc. your appearance is a reflection of your own self-esteem and you should aim to present yourself to your best possible advantage. Whilst you might be casually dressed when working within your organisation, a more formal approach may well be preferable when representing your organisation at an external meeting.
Good grooming and a tidy appearance is preferable, whether casually or more formally dressed.
Personal distance between people
Haptics:
Haptics is communicating by touch, touch is normally considered as intimate or act of domination depending on context who is touching who and when.
During greetings like hand shake are part of haptics. When a person is physically moving, a touch on the body, usually the back, shoulder or arm can guide them in the right direction. When you touch another person who is talking or otherwise engaged elsewhere, they are very likely to turn their attention to you.
Touching here is very much in safe areas, such as the arm or shoulder.
Saying their name at the same time reinforces strongly this move.
These are all the indices of non verbal communication. To have a effective communication these signals of non verbal communication will be very much useful